Don’t Share Your Writing Drafts with These People (3 types)
As a writer with a day job, I never have the time for weekly or monthly manuscript swaps or mutual beta readings or meetings with other writers. But even as I type this, I know that my reticence about sharing my works in progress (WIPs) is about more than just time availability. It’s also about my belief in who (and who should not) get to see or hear our stories.
Sharing Your Writing Drafts: Here’s My “No” List
The Unempathetic Person - Especially if you’re writing about something highly personal, painful or traumatic. In this case, be extra, extra, extra vigilant about who gets to see or preview that generative writing or those early drafts. For a start, let’s borrow from Brené Brown here and avoid anyone who may respond to your story with, “At least.” You know these folks. You reveal a personal story and they respond with sentences that begin with, “At least.” (At least you had a house to get foreclosed on/past-due food to give you food poisoning/a partner to fight with you.) It’s hard enough to write from a place of pain. Don’t add to this hardship and pain by giving your writing draft to a self-centered pain.
The Family: Some family members can read your writing with an open mind. Others cannot or will not, and will (a) insert themselves into your story (“isn’t this character based on me?”) or (b) assert that their version or memory of this event is the only and better version or (c) be incapable of separating you, the kid, the sibling or the cousin, from the accomplished, grown-up writer that you are now. Two tips:(a) Don’t share generative or early-drafts of the work with a family member. Wait until you’re close to final draft (b) be clear with yourself and your family why you’re sharing and what exactly you want that family member to do in their post-reading response to you.
The Tone Deaf Person: As kids, most of us started reading because it opened the doors to a world that was foreign from ours. So most beta readers or potential editors can and will make the comprehension or cultural or social-class leap from your world to theirs. But a few cannot. Their life experiences or reference points are so limited or privileged that they can’t even try to “get” your story or poem—let alone give those pages a fair reading. As I write in this post for The Write Life, we should research the editor—their own writing, their public presence and their business practices— before submitting.
As well as these three, let’s not forget Willie Nelson’s rules or personal “No” list.
As we decide how soon and with whom we choose to share our writing drafts or WIPs, Willie’s list of outlawed behaviors is a good guideline for us.
In the above three-point list, have I missed anyone?